The Goonies

I have no doubt that this film played the same role in your development into being a fully functional human being as it did me. The Goonies, quite simply, is the finest example of a kids' movie that lives on in all of us. The adventures of Mikey (a child with a unique gift for sentimental moralising), Mouth (a child with the gift of the gab), Data (a child with lots of cool gadgets that you wanted too, such as the famed 'pincers of peril') and Chunk (who liked ice cream) gave me the first ever film which I felt indebted to learn every single line of. Even the ones in Spanish. It's that good, and I'm that sad.

There's no point in plugging a film you've already seen. If, by some cruel trick of fate you were deprived of this piece of cinematic excellence, I'll tell you that it's the tale of a gang of kids searching for the lost treasure of infamous pirate One Eyed Willy in order to save their homes from being turned into a golf-course. Along the way they discover love, the importance of being a Goonie, and a malformed friend called Sloth. Many kids' films simply rely on people getting repeatedly kicked in painful areas for laughs. I'm not saying The Goonies doesn't have this, but it does it with such joy and Indiana Jones-esque thrills of discovery. Add the coolness of being a kid in a network of underground caves, and you get the most important film of the 1980s. It even tops Transformers: The Movie.

Recognisable faces include Sean Astin, who lately resurfaced with a pair of hairy feet in Lord of the Rings, the kid out of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, the scary woman from the risible throw Momma From the Train and heir-apparent to the throne of 80s kitsch: Corey Feldman. The rest pretty much disappeared, though the sequel has recently got the greenlight. So come and see it - you know you want to. Remember Sloth loving his candy? Remember the bit when Mikey gets a snog? Remember the bit in the Wishing Well that almost made you cry? Remember the cool bit with the cool way that they open the front door? Remeber the goddamn Truffle-Shuffle? My God, you do. You're a Goonie just like me.

Will Porter